Seeking Peace With My Past (Weekly Inspiration: May 6, 2017)
I find it quite ironic that this quote resonates so strongly now with me ~ as always, it may be that there is more than one truth and that we were both right after all.
I was so offended when he told me how it seemed like I took a step back and looked at my life and didn’t know exactly what I wanted but I knew that the life I had wasn’t where I wanted to be so I decided to burn everything to the ground.
For me, my actions were so rationale and deliberate that I couldn’t see any truth in this characterization ~ it was about being true to myself and ultimately trying to pursue what set my soul on fire.
But really wasn’t that exactly what I did in some ways? Turning your life upside down isn’t so different from setting it on fire, is it? And where did that leave him in my life…the man that loved me unconditionally and offered me eternity?
Maybe this is my way of trying to make peace with my past so that I can fully move forward. If you read my post about being true to myself you may not have read a postscript I added later: After sharing my story and spending a lot of time talking and reflecting recently on this, I’ve realized that I need to say something else. What I did, I did with mainly selfish intentions to be true to myself. But I also was in love with him and loved him dearly ~ and in some ways will always love him. However, sometimes the best thing that we can do for those we love is allow them to be free and happy and especially to find the love that they deserve if we can’t provide it to them ourselves. It doesn’t take away from what was but allows for the possibility of what can be and that’s how love should be.
In some ways, I’m still trying to figure out what my new life is since coming home. Every once and awhile, reminders about the life that I once had will come up and still stop me dead in my tracks. Moments that made me realize that was part of mourning and healing process and that I needed to fully go through the emotions to be able to let go completely.
And I am absolutely certain ~ for both of us ~ that the right decision was made. M I am so grateful for the amazing adventures that I had exploring the world and for the life that I am living now. I really am quite content and happy even as I’m still not certain about exactly what I want my life to be…
And the other reason for writing this post is to thank all those that fan my flames. I always talk about how lucky I am and it’s so true. I have such incredible people that surround and support me ~ from the friends and family here at home (old and new!!) and from those that I have made all around the world.
I always hope to inspire you to be open to the universe…really and truly open and allow the right people at the right time in the right place to come into your life ~ it’s been proven so many times for me. Especially those people who it seemed like the universe really conspired for us to meet ~ those relationships have been so crucial in my development. Every day I’m still learning and improving and I do know that is leading me to what I’m still searching for…
With much love and light ~ Rosemary